"When you gaze at the sky at night,
there will be a thousand stars,
as I live on one of them,
as I laugh on one of them.
And when you feel consoled, you will be glad to have known me..."
(Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
I dare to share here my most intimate story, the story of my daughter in Heaven, who only lived four days, but those four days were filled with the most perfect love a human can fathom, a hint of Heaven that changed our lives forever...
"A picture is worth a thousand words", they say. I must warn you, this is highly emotional content. I chose to disclose it because I believe from the bottom of my heart that every life is precious and worth living, no matter what, and if that helps convince even one person to choose life in spite of everything, then it is worth it.
In our modern, fast paced, hedonistic and consumeristic life, hardly anyone could understand my choice to carry on with a genetic disorder pregnancy. I was animated by a deep faith and wish to know her, as well as a lot of similar pregnancy stories with happy endings. The truth is that nothing is certain in this life...
Ema's chances to even live to be born were extremely low but our little fighter beat the odds. She was nothing like the usual new-born. She was tiny and feeble but very present and with a lifetime of wisdom in her eyes. The experience of comforting her while simply waiting for her to die was painful but I am extremely grateful for it. Suffering is simply part of our pilgrimage on Earth so instead of trying to escape it I chose to embrace it. It has enabled me to reach the depths of my humanity and enriched me a thousand times. I hope my little star will shine a little ray upon you as well...
"You were a child of hope
Our love surrounded you
Our fantasy embroidered your life.
You were a child of joy.
Our heart opened up like a blossom,
Because we were waiting for you yearningly.
You were a child of life.
We wanted to pass on life
And receive you as our gift.
You stay our child.
You were a child of our yearning,
You became a child to be remembered.
You have not seen
The brightness of the sun and the crescent of the moon
You have not looked into our sparkling eyes.
But now you see the light,
The bright and warming light of love
You are in the dwelling place of love."